THE SPORTS DIVA MAGAZINE

AFC East Power Rankings

We're going through each conference and giving our take on the ESPN NFL Power Rankings released on 5.12.08. Here we will discuss the AFC East.

New England Patriots (1). Of course, right? They did win 18 games last year. So what if the stunk it up in the Super Bowl. Okay, they didn't stink it up, they got BEAT. But they still have Tom Brady and Randy Moss. How did this team end up with the easiest schedule? Go ahead and punch their playoff ticket.

Buffalo Bills (19). Is this team looking to find a new QB? They have 5 on their roster right now. Should Trent Edwards be worried? Well James Hardy should be. He's being accused of pulling a gun on his daddy. Hmm. I don't think a Bengal would even do that.

New York Jets (21). J-E-T-S. jets! Jets! JETS! They got Vernon Gholston in the first round of the NFL draft to help them with sacks this year. I just wonder what will Mangini do this year? Will he be labeled Mangenius again? Will he rat out another team? Will he be fired at the end of the season? Time will tell.

Miami Dolphins (31). They seriously can't do any worse than last year, or could they? Who's going to start a QB? Will Jake Long show his worthiness of being the No. 1 pick? Will Jason Taylor and Bill Parcells ever get along? It's like a soap opera. Questions to be answered this fall.

Farewell Jessica....

Well if this is true, unless she starts dating a new athlete, Jessica Simpson will no longer grace this site. She is denying it but The Dallas Morning News says it's true. According to them, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are broken up.

And this is coming the same month as her gracing the cover of Glamour where she talks about how in love she is.

"He's a motivational speaker. Because he's a quarterback, a leader. He keeps his team focused. What he's done for me is irreplaceable. I wrote a song for him called "Back in My Old Boots." I feel like I'm walking back in my old boots. Jessica Simpson didn't lose herself along the way......He reintroduced me to myself. I thought that I had to be deeper, more profound and more artsy. You change with the guys you date. [I thought] I had to be more intellectual. Come on--just be yourself! Tony taught me that because he loves me [as me]. He made me feel comfortable [being myself] again."

Poor Jessica. Well it's been fun. Unless this is false, there will be no reason to post anything about you here. This is still a sports site. Unless you date an athlete, I don't have any need for you. But I'm sure you will still be seen at Perez Hilton and Go Fug Yourself.  And at least this breakup could help you in that Country album you're doing.

Wednesday News Roundup 5.14.08

Dan LeBatard is blogging! (The Big Lead)

Ok Buckeye fans, say it with me: We will NOT be second fiddle to Meechigan. Donate people! Oh, and it's for charity :) (EDSBS)

The NBA Playoff analysts are the greatest aren't they? (JuicedSportsBlog)

Carson Palmer's frustration level is at zero. (ProFootballTalk)

Why WON'T Meechigan just pay off WVU and put the Rodriguez madness to bed? (Eleven Warriors)

Why NBA teams just can't seem to win on the road. (Epic Carnival)

Basketball and Poetry, a fit made in sneaker heaven. (And One)

Kornheiser says goodbye to print and takes buyout. (D.C. Sports Bog)

ESPN turning into MTV? Well Tom Brady, I might not hold the fact that you dawned Maize and Blue against you that much. (Awful Announcing)

AFC North Power Rankings

Power Rankings. Do they mean anything? Well ESPN must think so since they actually took some time to figure them out. So since they decided to do a little research to pass the time, we thought we would help break down what they came up with by each conference. And since we are located in AFC North country, we will start with the AFC North.

Pittsburgh Steelers (7). Of course. The highest rated in this conference. Who can argue with this. The best team in the conference who actually knows what to do on draft day. They get Mendenhall to help out Willie Parker. I think I screamed when I saw that pick. Can see them winning the AFC North. Don't even think they'll be challenged. Yes it's May but can we just lock down their 4 seed (they could flip with San Diego for the 3) in the playoffs?

Cleveland Browns (9). 9? A bit high? If you're a Cleveland fan then hell no. But let's just make sure last year wasn't a fluke. 5 prime-time games this year will put them in the spotlight. And even though Carson Palmer had issues with them getting these games, he should remember that the Bengals got love after they went to the playoffs in 2005. Let's just hope for Cleveland fans that they don't go on a downward spiral like your Bengals are doing Carson. And let's hear it for Derek Anderson. Even though some Browns fans will be chanting "Brady" in the opener.

Baltimore Ravens (22). Well that seems to be a big drop off. The Ravens are 11 spots behind the team they used to be. A new coach and a recently retired veteran quarterback here. They picked Joe Flacco in the first round of the draft and they have 2nd year qb Troy Smith (YAY!) and "when no one else seems to be good enough they put him in" Kyle Boller. New system and new QB = vacation in January. But hey, it could be worse...........

Cincinnati Bengals (25). How do you have a QB like Carson Palmer and end up 25th in the power rankings and 1 behind Chicago who's QB is Rex Grossman (maybe?)? This off-season has been a busy one for the Bengals. The whole Chad Johnson issue. The release of Chris Henry. The arrest of Ahmad Brooks. Will they turn things around by the season kickoff? All I can say is, Hey Bungals: WELCOME BACK!

Diva's Guide To Sports: Sex And The Sports Girl

Have you ever had to decide between sex and watching a game? Not just any game but one that involves one of your favorite teams? Say you and your boyfriend (or just friend. Whatev, your business) are not fans of the same teams. You are not allowed to interrupt him when he's watching his beloved team but when it's time for yours to play, he wants to play. Is it fair? They knew what they were getting into when they decided to date you. The girl who steals the sports section away from them in the paper. The girl who has Deadspin bookmarked in their browser. The girl who when they tried to pick her up at the sports bar seemed to be more into the game on TV than them. The girl who sat them down and told them that she loved sports. She wasn't telling them to make them like her more. It was to warn them. She loved sports just as much as they did if not more.

So what's a girl to do. She can:

a) Give up and have sex with the boy. It better be good.
b) Make sure it's a quickie and pause her DVR.
c) Tell him that he better start choking that chicken cause she ain't missing anything.

It's a hard decision to make. If it was me? It depends on who it is. Most likely would make sure it's a quickie and pause my DVR. I rarely miss an opportunity for sex. But if it's an Ohio State football game? We might end up broken up over it. What about you? What would you do? 

Last Weeks Post As A Carnie

I haven't done this as much as I should. From now on I'll put a link to the post I did that week for Epic Carnival. I know how much you want to read it. Enjoy last weeks.

I wondered what Shaq was going to do about his love for the shield after leaving Miami for Arizona. Now I know. Shaq and the Tempe Police Department have come together to make the Internet Crimes Against Children unit.

I Still Love You Mr. Redlegs!

The Cincinnati Reds are 14-22 and have the worst record in the NL Central. They are 7.5 games back of the St. Louis Cardinals. They have not done anything, but lose, to really make any news. At least the players have not. We all know that Mr. Redlegs had some issues the other day. Losing his head and all. But let's learn more about the man who is Mr. Redlegs.

From the Cincinnati Reds MLB site we learn that his favorite foods are sunflower seeds, Skyline Chili Cheese Coneys, and Mr. Redlegs Ice Cream from UDF. His best friends are Mr. Red, Gapper and YOU. He likes batting practice, grand slams and working on the river boats. And he doesn't like strikeouts, losing seasons and the off-season (well, he's obviously had a lot of dislikes lately). And the song playing on his Ipod would be "Take Me Out To The Ballgame". He's a simple man just showing as much love as he can for his favorite team. Even if he ends up getting hurt by doing it.

And then he was everywhere. From SportsCenter, to newspapers, to blogs. Yes, it was funny but this is Mr. Redlegs. A friend to EVERYONE. He calls YOU his best friend. He's always smiling. Even though the Reds aren't the Big Red Machine anymore, he still shows up to do his best to make all fans happy. 

Below is a video of the incident (remixed) found on The Big Lead and courtesy of Joe Sports Fan. While viewing this video, take sometime to remember what you read about Mr. Redlegs. And think before you laugh.

NHL Conference Finals Preview!!

Written by: Bethany

Bethany's Hockey Rants

Unless you have been living under a rock, or are not a hockey fan, you know that the NHL Conference Finals started last night.  In the Western Conference Finals the Detroit Red Wings are facing the Dallas Stars, and in the Eastern Conference, you have a battle of Pennsylvania, with the Philadelphia Flyers facing off against the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Let's take a look at the matchups beginning in the West.  Detroit and Dallas, this should be a great series.  Detroit has plowed through the playoffs, since benching the ancient goaltender Dominic Hasek and bringing in Chris Osgood.  The Red Wings were the NHL best this season.  They defeated the Nashville Predators and swept the Colorado Avalanche.  They have strength in every position.  Goaltending, they have a one-two punch, with Hasek and Osgood.  Osgood has been nothing short of outstanding the entire season, he will continue to be outstanding through this round.  On the blue line you have Norris Trophy winners, Nicklas Lidstrom and Chris Chelios.  Then with the forwards they have Johan Franzen, Pavel Datsyuk, and Henrik Zetterberg.  So who needs to step up for the Wings?  Really...everyone just needs to keep doing what they're doing.

The Dallas Stars had a tough last round facing the San Jose Sharks.  The deciding game of the series went into FOUR overtimes.  Yes, you read that correctly, FOUR overtimes. 

The Dallas Stars have been getting great goaltending from Marty Turco this post season, and their forwards are really showing up.  Here is where it gets fun, the Dallas Stars are a very defensively minded team, their team also has a very young defense.  That young defense was able to shut down in the first round Teemu Selanne, Ryan Getzlaf, and all of the other members of the Anaheim Ducks.  The second round, they shutdown Big Joe Thornton, Jonathan Cheechoo, and the San Jose Sharks.  Who needs to step it up in order for the Stars to beat the Red Wings?  Mike Modano.  He's one of the greatest American born hockey players in the history of the NHL, he has to be great against the Red Wings.  Marty Turco, he has proven himself in the first two rounds, now he just needs to continue playing his game.

What does this series come down to?  Goaltending.  Chris Osgood has the best goals against average (GAA) in the NHL, Marty Turco has the second.  You want a prediction?  Red Wings in 6, I just don't think the Stars have the ability to take down the Wings.

Onto the East.  The Battle of Pennsylvania!!  Philadelphia Flyers vs the Pittsburgh Penguins.  This series is the total opposite of the Wings/Stars series.  Both of these teams rely heavily on their offense, which who can blame them?  The Penguins are fronted by Sidney Crosby, Jordan Staal, and Evgeni Malkin.  The Flyers?  RJ Umberger has been an absolute horse so far, Daniel Briere, and Scott Hartnell.

The Philadelphia Flyers have made it through a game seven against the Washington Capitals and then were up against the Eastern Conference best, Montreal Canadiens.  The Flyers have made a huge turn around; last season they were the NHL worst, but making a few trades and getting some key free agents has turned this team around.  Marty Biron has been outstanding in his first ever post-season.  R.J. Umberger has come seemingly out of nowhere and has almost carried the Flyers offense.  The defense of the Flyers took a hit yesterday however, it was discovered that Kimmo Timonen would be unavailable for the remainder of the playoffs due to a blood clot.  So, who needs step up for the Flyers?  Daniel Briere.  He can't let R.J. Umberger handle all the offense.  Marty Biron has to be superb in order for the Flyers to beat the Pens.

The Pittsburgh Penguins have surpassed my expectations.  I never seem to give them enough credit.  The Penguins flew by the Senators and then beat up on the New York Rangers, apparently they learned something in those five games last playoffs.  Marc Andre Fleury has been great for them as well.  So who needs to step it up for the Pens?  Gary Roberts, I think his veteran leadership is extremely important to this team.  Sidney Crosby, oh who am I kidding?  He has been outstanding.  Marc Andre Fleury needs to continue to make those key saves.

What does this series come down to?  I'm going to say defense.  Whichever team is able to shutdown the other teams offense, will win.  But, this series is going to be a great series for fans of the new NHL.  There will be a lot of goals, and a lot of up and down action.
My prediction?  Penguins in seven. 

Thursday Night Roundup 5.8.08

I missed yesterday's news roundup so I decided to write one up for tonight. Enjoy.

Dear Cincinnati Bengals: Kiss My Ass! (Juiced Sports Blog)

WTF? Someone please explain this video. (NESW Sports)

Only time I wish I was in Cleveland, Ohio. 23 cents pizza. (And One)

Venus Williams, the face of PowerAde Zero (Sports Business Digest)

A Buckeye fan is against a playoff system. No no, it's not me. (Around The Oval)

Stephen A. Smith's first column in ESPN the Mag. (ESPN the Mag)

OK. That's enough for now. Tomorrow will be the debut of our new contributor Bethany. She'll let you know all about the NHL playoffs.

My Apologies To The City Of Cleveland

After watching the Cleveland Cavaliers lose to the Boston Celtics tonight 76-72, all I came away from this was frustration. And I'm not a big Cleveland Cavaliers fan at all. I root for them in the playoffs to show my Ohio pride but that's about it. And if I'm frustrated, God help the actual Cleveland fan right now. Is this what you've had to endure all these years?

I'm from Cincinnati. A Reds fan, they suck now but won a World Series in 1990. A Bengals fan, I can't even explain them now but I did get to watch them in the Super Bowl in 1989. And a Buckeye fan who watched the football team win a title in the 2002 season and the basketball team make the FINAL FOUR  twice (sorry NCAA, still not letting you take that away from me) and become NIT champs this past year. I guess you could say I've had it good compared to a Cleveland fan.

I have to admit that I just thought the Cleveland fans were just whiny, complainers and bad tippers (I worked in a sports bar and that held true there. Even with Cleveland fans who worked with me. Cincy fans were great tippers.) But now I think I understand a little bit. You're watching something that just seems to be within your grasp and then BAM! It's gone. The name of the site WaitingForNextYear.com fits so well with the city of Cleveland and their love of their sports. And wait they will.

Tonight I'm rooting for you Cleveland and I'll continue to root for the Cavs however long they're in this post season. I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy the frustrations I felt after watching the Cavs lose tonight. Now I may not root for you in the future but you can always point back to this post and remind me that I rooted for you once. I'll try not to deny it.